|
 |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
JOELYNN T. STOKES, LLPC
Divorce is one of the most stressful life experiences, ranking second only to the death of a loved one. And like the death of a loved one, divorce causes significant loss-loss of friends, home, children, familiarity, identity and even lifestyle. It is no wonder that divorce is such an emotionally charged experience filled with anger and hurt; feelings that can be difficult to manage and often result in displacement or misdirection of emotions.
Balancing these feelings can be most challenging in the best of situations. But when one places these emotions in the context of a lawsuit, often they are simply compounded and exacerbated. The adversarial nature of litigation is no place for feelings of hurt and loss. The combination of the two can cause irreparable harm, and when children are involved it can be most damaging. The court room is not the appropriate atmosphere for feelings of hostility and anger. This is particularly true when the anger is merely a mask for the pain of hurt and loss.
Divorce counseling can help alleviate the negative emotions that impede and hinder the litigation process. Counseling can assist couples in gaining closure. It can also help them grieve the loss of their relationship and prepare them to move into the future; ideally as friends, but at least as two individuals who can be civil with one another and work through issues. The ability to communicate and resolve issues is critical where children are involved.
The goal of divorce counseling is to dissolve marriage with dignity and respect, helping to sort the emotional from the practical issues of the divorce, and allowing the parties to part without becoming enemies. While divorce counseling is good for everyone, it is highly recommended for couples with children and should be mandatory for people whose feelings of hurt and anger are serving as motivators of actions taken in the litigation process. Fights over the bird, family dog, and china are typically evidence of this problem. Sadly even if the dispute is resolved, couples who have not worked through their emotional issues will find themselves returning to court with new problems to litigate. Joelynn is available to walk with you through the tumultuous divorce process, assisting you in restoring your life to a place of calm and peace.